Original Sin
Reference: Season 1, Episode 3- "Kill Me Now"
Quote- Lorelai: "...I'll send up a masseuse who bears a striking resemblance to Antonio Banderas."
Since this was a reference to an actor and not a specific movie, I could have skipped it, but because I have a big-time man-crush on Antonio I picked one of my favorite of his films- Original Sin.
Open on a close-up of Angelina Jolie's incredibly luscious, completely unmistakable lips. Throw in a super-sappy love story with more twists, turns, and surprise "endings" than a whorehouse screening of The Sixth Sense. Add a generous helping of nakedness from both Antonio and Angelina, aaaaaaaannnnnnd SOLD!
The preposterous story follows Banderas' Luis, a filthy rich coffee plantation owner, on an adventure whose moral is this: buying a bride mail order is risky...but sometimes worth it. That is, if you don't mind losing your entire fortune and getting the ever-loving shit repeatedly kicked out of you, in exchange for sweaty, hot sex with a near perfect human specimen.
Jolie plays Julia, the UPS bride...except, spoiler alert.... she actually killed the bride to take her place in a plot with her pimp/boyfriend/super sketchy dude, to take Luis for all his dough.
Pimp and fake bride succeed, obviously. Luis, firmly at rock bottom and consumed with an ill-advised (to say the least) love for fake Julia, tracks the pair down, leading to a series of increasingly ridiculous though fantastically entertaining not-really-endings. Finally, fake Julia and Luis find their very own happily ever after, hustling hardworking scheisters at poker.
Some cool facts about this flick: It was based on a book called, "Waltz Into Darkness," a far superior title, by a fella named Cornell Woolrich. Woolrich also penned the book that "Rear Window" was based on, which means I have to add "Waltz" to my ever growing, never-ending reading list.
All in all I give Original Sin a treasure chest (pun most definitely intended) full of Pippi coins, for gratuitous nudity of the most excellent variety, and a ludicrously entertaining jaunt through the land of make-believe.
Thanks for tuning in for another edition of Dean's Black, White & Read Nights! I hope you've enjoyed this little romp through a great movie with me! Check out my previous installments and be on the lookout for my review of the Peanuts Classic, "The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown."
If you'd like to leave me feedback or ask a question, shoot me an email at LukesJamHands@gmail.com. I love to hear from you guys!
If you love the Gilmore girls, check out my Under the Floorboards podcast with my pal Elizabeth Allen. We review each episode scene-by-scene, following our tangents where they lead while making fun of lots of people in the process. Just like life in Stars Hollow! Plus, we give you all the latest updates on everything Gilmore!
Also, if you are a fan of Avatar: The Last Airbender , the animated series, give a listen to me and my son's podcast, TeamBoomeraangKickACast.
Talk atcha' soon!
No comments:
Post a Comment