Monday, February 25, 2019

#13: It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown




#13: It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

Reference: S1, E3- Kill Me Now
Michel: "To me you are the teacher on the Charlie Brown cartoon."

So many fantastic Charlie Brown cartoons to choose from, but I didn't hesitate when choosing. Though the teacher in question doesn't appear in this particular episode, The Great Pumpkin is by far my favorite of the Peanuts flicks.

With all the classic Peanuts  brand humor, including Linus' grand speeches, Sally's hilarious naivety, and Snoopy just being Snoopy, TGP delivers laughs in spades.

What I adore about Charles Schultz' fictional gang above all else is their brutal honesty. The only small screen group of kids who were more self-aware and internally combusting were the teens of Dawson's Creek. While the politically correct masses of 2019 might frown on laughs at the expense of the kid so dirty a dust cloud follows him everywhere he goes, or that little asshole yanking the football away from poor old Chuck time and time again, I believe there is a valuable moral to be gleaned from these tales- and a really simple one, at that.

The brutal honesty of the kids I grew up with was a match for that of the Peanuts gang. In the 80s, kids told you what ever thought stomped through their heads; feelings be damned. That sometimes painful honesty prepared me well for dealing with the sneaky assholishness of the adult world.

Cynical, but realistic.


However, I always did want to see Lucy get beat down for tricking Charlie Brown so many times. If you feel the same way, checkout this clip from Family Guy, wherein Peter gets some long overdue retribution!



All in all I give The Great Pumpkin a treasure chest full of Pippi coins, for a nostalgia filled adventure and because it led me to the fun video above.

Thanks for tuning in for another edition of Dean's Black, White & Read Nights! I hope you've enjoyed this little romp through a great movie with me! Check out my previous installments and be on the lookout for my review of a little Merrie Melodies classic with Pepe Le Pew.

If you'd like to leave me feedback or ask a question, shoot me an email at LukesJamHands@gmail.com. I love to hear from you guys!

If you love the Gilmore girls, check out my Under the Floorboards podcast with my pal Elizabeth Allen. We review each episode scene-by-scene, following our tangents where they lead while making fun of lots of people in the process. Just like life in Stars Hollow! Plus, we give you all the latest updates on everything Gilmore!

Also, if you are a fan of  Avatar: The Last Airbender , the animated series, give a listen to me and my son's podcast, TeamBoomeraangKickACast.

Talk atcha' soon!


Monday, February 18, 2019

#12: Original Sin

Original Sin



Reference: Season 1, Episode 3- "Kill Me Now"
Quote- Lorelai: "...I'll send up a masseuse who bears a striking resemblance to Antonio Banderas."

Since this was a reference to an actor and not a specific movie, I could have skipped it, but because I have a big-time man-crush on Antonio I picked one of my favorite of his films- Original Sin.

Open on a close-up of Angelina Jolie's incredibly luscious, completely unmistakable lips. Throw in a super-sappy love story with more twists, turns, and surprise "endings" than a whorehouse screening of The Sixth Sense. Add a generous helping of nakedness from both Antonio and Angelina, aaaaaaaannnnnnd SOLD!

The preposterous story follows Banderas' Luis, a filthy rich coffee plantation owner, on an adventure whose moral is this: buying a bride mail order is risky...but sometimes worth it. That is, if you don't mind losing your entire fortune and getting the ever-loving shit repeatedly kicked out of you, in exchange for sweaty, hot sex with a near perfect human specimen.

Jolie plays Julia, the UPS bride...except, spoiler alert.... she actually killed the bride to take her place in a plot with her pimp/boyfriend/super sketchy dude, to take Luis for all his dough.

Pimp and fake bride succeed, obviously. Luis, firmly at rock bottom and consumed with an ill-advised (to say the least) love for fake Julia, tracks the pair down, leading to a series of increasingly ridiculous though fantastically entertaining not-really-endings. Finally, fake Julia and Luis find their very own happily ever after, hustling hardworking scheisters at poker.



Some cool facts about this flick: It was based on a book called, "Waltz Into Darkness," a far superior title, by a fella named Cornell Woolrich. Woolrich also penned the book that "Rear Window" was based on, which means I have to add "Waltz" to my ever growing, never-ending reading list.

All in all I give Original Sin a treasure chest (pun most definitely intended) full of Pippi coins, for gratuitous nudity of the most excellent variety, and a ludicrously entertaining jaunt through the land of make-believe.

Thanks for tuning in for another edition of Dean's Black, White & Read Nights! I hope you've enjoyed this little romp through a great movie with me! Check out my previous installments and be on the lookout for my review of the Peanuts Classic, "The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown."

If you'd like to leave me feedback or ask a question, shoot me an email at LukesJamHands@gmail.com. I love to hear from you guys!

If you love the Gilmore girls, check out my Under the Floorboards podcast with my pal Elizabeth Allen. We review each episode scene-by-scene, following our tangents where they lead while making fun of lots of people in the process. Just like life in Stars Hollow! Plus, we give you all the latest updates on everything Gilmore!

Also, if you are a fan of  Avatar: The Last Airbender , the animated series, give a listen to me and my son's podcast, TeamBoomeraangKickACast.

Talk atcha' soon!

Friday, May 12, 2017

#11- The Shining

 

Gilmore girls reference to the Shining (the first of MANY): Lorelai to Emily, "We like our internet slow, okay? We can turn it on, walk around, do a little dance, make a sandwich. With DSL, there's no dancing, no walking, and we'd starve. It'd be all work and no play. Have you not seen the Shining, mom?"


As I said, this is the first of a shit-ton of references to the cult classic film. Wikipedia puts the total at six times throughout the series (original run), but I feel like it is higher. We shall see what my official tally is. The only movie referenced as much in the Gilmore girls is the Godfather.  


I'm just gonna start by saying that the Shining is straight-up CREEPSVILLE. I am a 100%, grade A, scaredy-cat wuss. I freely admit this. But damn! This flick pulls out all the stops to really freak viewers the hell out. First of all, the movie is based on Stephen King's amazing book of the same name. As is the case with every movie based on one of King's works- the book is better. WAY better. However, taken as it's own thing, the film holds up well as just a damned good, scary movie.


Secondly, Stanley Kubrick directed the Shining. While I'm not fully on the Kubrick-can-do-no-wrong band-wagon, the dude knows how to instill a vibe of something just not quite right in everything he creates.


Finally, the casting of this film. They found the perfect person for every role. From the lead character of Jack Torrance (Jack Nicholson)...




...to his wife Wendy (Shelley Duvall)...




...their son Danny and his "invisible friend" Tony (Danny Lloyd)




...the  iconic twin girls...




...and the myriad of other characters that pop up , the Shining produces the absolute CREEPIEST person they could possibly have cast for that particular role.


The plot is this. Jack Torrance, "recovering" alcoholic and world's worst dad, decides that it would be a super-cool idea to take a job that requires his wife and young son to be snowed-in to a giant, creepy, haunted-ass hotel built on an ancient Indian burial ground in the middle of nowhere, for several months. Oh, and the dude who previously had the job killed his family with an axe. Jack's not worried. He plans to use the solitude to write.


All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy


Jack and Wendy's son, Danny, possess the ability to see the past and future, and to creep me the fuck out. He talks for his "invisible friend", Tony, in a voice that sends chills straight up my spine and makes me crap my pants in utter terror, while wiggling his index finger. However, he does give us this awesome scene on a sweet Big Wheel!


Creepy Danny on his Big Wheel


You can imagine how things play out. Jack descends quickly into madness as the many, MANY ghosts in the ancient hotel convince him to begin drinking again. The shit hits the fan, with spooky ghouls presenting themselves to Danny and Jack, and Jack hacking his way into his families hearts with an axe.


The Shining is a great movie, but ultimately the book is light years better, for the same reason that all King's books are far superior to the movie adaptations. Inner dialogue. King's tales of terror are always driven by the inner dialogue of his characters. We feel what they feel. We hear their deepest thoughts. These things provide us the critical information that we need to dissect the deeply complicated themes in the stories he creates. This can't be captured in a film. At least not in 90 minutes.






My rating system, as always, is based on Pippi Longstocking. Pippi, adorable oddball that she is, would never accept a standard 1-10 rating system. In light of this, I have opted for a system as follows:

1 Gold Pippi Coin= Pure crap

1 Sack of Gold Pippi Coins= Pretty Good

1 Treasure Chest of Gold Pippi Coins= Fantastic

1 Cave of Pippi Coins= Holy shit, I'm quitting my job, buying a family size bag of Doritos, and watching this movie on a constant loop. 

I gave this flick a rating of 1 Sack of Gold Pippi Coins. While I thoroughly enjoy this flick as a stand-alone movie, I can't help but compare it to it's exponentially better literary counterpart.

Thanks for tuning in for another edition of Dean's Black, White & Read Nights! I hope you've enjoyed this little romp through a great movie with me! Check out my previous installments and be on the lookout for my review of the Antonio Banderas and Angelina Jolie sex-fest, Original Sin.

If you'd like to leave me feedback or ask a question, shoot me an email at LukesJamHands@gmail.com. I love to hear from you guys!

If you love the Gilmore girls, check out my Under the Floorboards podcast with my pal Elizabeth Allen. We review each episode scene-by-scene, following our tangents where they lead while making fun of lots of people in the process. Just like life in Stars Hollow! Plus, we give you all the latest updates on everything Gilmore!

Also, if you are a fan of  Avatar: The Last Airbender , the animated series, give a listen to me and my son's podcast, TeamBoomeraangKickACast.

And now I leave you with the creepiest of all the creepy scenes from the Shining...


Tuesday, April 4, 2017

#10- Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire



Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire

Miss Patty: "Now walk smooth. That's the new Harry Potter on your heads. If they should drop, Harry will die, and there won't be anymore books."

Back in season one of the Gilmore girls, when this reference was made, Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire was the newest book, so here we are.

Let me start by making a disclaimer: I love the Harry Potter series; both books and movies. The stories are fun and fantastic, the movies do a great job of capturing the essence of the books, and J.K.Rowling uses her power and wealth to help out many deserving charities. My son is a hug fan of the series as well, and it has been an awesome experience to watch him read and re-read the books, and to discuss them with him. We disagree on nearly every aspect of the story, which makes our conversations much more fun! The thing we debate most is the question of how many horcrux's there are. I say seven, siting the fact that the author herself has stated as much. My boy cites Hermione's argument in Deathly Hollows, as proof that Voldemort does not (neither himself or his soul) count as a horcrux, so there are only six. Any thoughts on this out there? Email me at LukesJamHands@gmail.com, or just comment on this blog post and let me know.

Goblet of Fire essentially revolves around the TriWizard Tournament, which is being held at Hogwarts this year. If you ask me, hosting the tournament sucks, because it means no quidditch for the whole school year. Blah. Other wizarding and witchcraft schools have been invited, and one champion will be selected from each. Dumbledore announces that students have to be of, "the Wizarding Age of Majority," (which is 17). Of course, Harry is chosen by the magic Goblet of Fire, despite having not put his name into it.

I'll let this fun meme serve as my review of the film:



Right?!?!?

I mean, seriously folks. The TriWizard Tournament would have been boring AF to "watch", but that's not my problem with this particular Harry Potter installment. My problem is that the whole fucking story is completely unnecessary! Think about this: Why didn't Voldemort just have dork-boy Barty Crouch, Jr.(or one of his other minions who wasn't in freaking Azkaban) turn one of Harry's textbooks into a portkey? Or his toothbrush? Or his damn Spiderman underoos? Any of these or a million other items could have been used, and any one of them would have been a better choice than a magic fucking cup that has to be won in a competition Harry isn't even old enough to compete in. There would have been no need for the impersonation of a Hogwart's professor (a highly dangerous proposition), cheating a magic system designed by Dumbledore (WTF?), and feeding Harry info so he could win the damn tournament. I guess it wouldn't have been too exciting to watch Harry get whisked away to battle ol' Saggy Robes Voldemort, after picking up his pencil one morning, but whatever.

Adding insult to injury, Robert Pattinson is cast in a prominent supporting role, and I'm firmly Team Jacob.  

To make me feel better, here's a picture of Hermione looking very pensive...




....I like to imagine she is trying to decide how to tell Ron she is running away with me.

Now then...here are a bunch of sexy pictures of Emma Watson....









My rating system, as always, is based on Pippi Longstocking. Pippi, adorable oddball that she is, would never want a standard 1-10 rating system. In light of this, I have opted for a system as follows:

1 Gold Pippi Coin= Pure crap

1 Sack of Gold Pippi Coins= Pretty Good

1 Treasure Chest of Gold Pippi Coins= Fantastic

1 Cave of Pippi Coins= Holy shit, I'm quitting my job, buying a family size bag of Doritos, and watching this movie on a constant loop. 

I gave this flick a rating of 1 Sack of Gold Pippi Coins
While I love all the Harry Potter films, this is one of my least favorite of the bunch, beating out only the Deathly Hollows.

Thanks for tuning in for another edition of Dean's Black, White & Read Nights! I hope you've
enjoyed this little romp through a great movie with me! Check out my previous installments and be on the lookout for my review of the cult classic, the Shining.

If you'd like to leave me feedback or ask a question, shoot me an email at LukesJamHands@gmail.com. I love to hear from you guys!

If you love the Gilmore girls, check out my Under the Floorboards podcast with my pal Elizabeth Allen. We review each episode scene-by-scene, following our tangents where they lead while making fun of lots of people in the process. Just like life in Stars Hollow! Plus, we give you all the latest updates on everything Gilmore!

Also, if you are a fan of  Avatar: The Last Airbender , the animated series, give a listen to me and my son's podcast, TeamBoomeraangKickACast.



Friday, March 24, 2017

#9- The Goonies



Today's movie reference comes from S1, E9- The Lorelai's First Day at Chilton. 


Madeline: "I hate nature."


Madeline, Louise, and Paris are hiding in the bushes outside of the Chilton office where Rory has just dropped off her paperwork. Paris is gathering intel on the new girl. As the three girls crouch, Madeline complains somewhat incessantly about how much she hates being outside, ultimately uttering the words, "I hate nature." 


For my Gilmore girls Movie Challenge I refer to several sources, in addition to gathering movies from the episode myself. I try to be as thorough as I can, but I have to admit, I would have never caught this one on my own.


The Gilmore girls fan-run Wikia, sites Madeline's exclamation as a reference to the 80s cult classic, the Goonies. In the Goonies, there is a scene where-in the stumbling, bumbling, character, Chunk, finds himself running from the Fratelli's through some dark and scary woods. He utters the line, "I love the dark, but I hate nature."


This seems like a tenuous connection at best, but I fucking love the Goonies, so I was more than happy to include it in my challenge.


What can I say about this iconic flick that hasn't already been repeated a thousand times over? It's a classic for a reason.  The Goonies perfectly captured a brief moment in American history. I'm not just talking about the pop-culture laden lingo, the killer outfits, or the bitchin' hairdos. It was an attitude; a feeling that everything was kinda fucked up but it was all going to be alright. A belief that our generation- GenX- could save the world.


Naïve? Sure. But to this day I can't watch the Goonies without a feeling of bright hopefulness rising up inside me. Mouth, Chunk, Andy- the whole gang are my best pals and I am instantly 12-years-old again. We never grow up and we never say die. We're the Lost Boys of a lost generation, and the Goonedocks are our Neverland. The dreams of my youth are all still possible. Adventure is right outside my own front door.


Goonies was directed by the legendary Richard Donner, who also brought us such classics as Superman (the good one with Christopher Reeves), the Omen, Lethal Weapon, and, one of my top 10 all-time favorite flicks, LadyHawke.


Adding awesome to awesome, Goonies was written by Chris Columbus, who also gave us Gremlins.


If you grew up in a cave and never saw Goonies, and if you're over the age of fourteen, there's a good chance you won't love this movie. Although it holds up amazingly if you saw it when you were a kid, I've been told it comes off as corny and even silly if you watch it for the first time as an adult. I can't understand a world like that, and I'm truly sorry for you if you fall into that camp.


My rating system, as always, is based on Pippi Longstocking. Pippi, adorable oddball that she is, would never want a standard 1-10 rating system. In light of this, I have opted for a system as follows:
1 Gold Pippi Coin= Pure crap

1 Sack of Gold Pippi Coins= Pretty Good

1 Treasure Chest of Gold Pippi Coins= Fantastic

1 Cave of Pippi Coins= Holy shit, this is one of the best movies I’ve ever seen!

Of course, I gave this flick a rating of a cave full of Pippi coins- my highest. I love the Goonies and recommend it to one and all!



Thanks for tuning in for another edition of Dean's Black, White & Read Nights! I hope you've
enjoyed this little romp through a great movie with me! Check out my previous installments and be on the lookout for my review of the nerd blockbuster, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, coming soon.


If you'd like to leave me feedback or ask a question, shoot me an email at LukesJamHands@gmail.com. I love to hear from you guys!

If you love the Gilmore girls, check out my Under the Floorboards podcast with my pal Elizabeth Allen. We review each episode scene-by-scene, following our tangents where they lead while making fun of lots of people in the process. Just like life in Stars Hollow! Plus, we give you all the latest updates on everything Gilmore!

Also, if you are a fan of  Avatar: The Last Airbender , the animated series, give a listen to me and my son's podcast, TeamBoomeraangKickACast.BlogSpot.com .

Thanks again!


Tuesday, March 7, 2017

#8- Schindler's List


Here's the thing....


Anyone who listens to our Under the Floorboards podcast knows that I'm an emotional guy, but this film dropped me into a deep, dark well of sadness and despair. Thankfully, Schindler pulled me out.


There's no way I'm going to complete this review with my typical glib, self-deprecating attempt at humor. Instead, I'll present the facts about the tragedies of the Holocaust:


  • Over 6,000,000 million Jewish people were slaughtered
  • Fewer than 4,000 Jewish people remained in Poland after the Nazi's were defeated
  • Schindler saved over 1100 Jewish people, and today there are more than 6,000 descendants of "Schindler's Jews"


Very few individuals were willing or able to stand against the Nazi's. Schindler did.


Now enjoy this video of a Nazi douche-bag getting punched in the face, set to the classic punk tune, Nazi Punks Fuck Off...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVTbXRhDlcw


....and this epic scene of a Nazi getting beaten to death with a baseball bat, by Brad Pitt's crew in the outstanding flick Inglorious Bastards...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isVwqPyxLM8


My rating system, as always, is based on Pippi Longstocking. Pippi, adorable oddball that she is, would never want a standard 1-10 rating system. In light of this, I have opted for a system as follows:


1 Gold Pippi Coin= Pure crap

1 Sack of Gold Pippi Coins= Pretty Good

1 Treasure Chest of Gold Pippi Coins= Fantastic

1 Cave of Pippi Coins= Holy shit, this is one of the best movies I’ve ever seen!

In the end, I gave this flick a rating of a cave full of Pippi coins- my highest. I cried. A lot.

Thanks for tuning in for another edition of Deans Black, White & Read Nights! I hope you've enjoyed this little romp through a great movie with me! Check out my previous installments and be on the lookout for my review of the cult classic Goonies, coming soon.

If you'd like to leave me feedback or ask a question, shoot me an email at LukesJamHands@gmail.com. I love to hear from you guys!


If you love the Gilmore girls, check out my Under the Floorboards podcast with my pal Elizabeth Allen. We review each episode scene-by-scene, following our tangents where they lead, while making fun of lots of people in the process. Just like life in Stars Hollow! Plus, we give you all the latest updates on everything Gilmore!


Also, if you are a fan of  Avatar: The Last Airbender , the animated series, give a listen to me and my son's podcast, TeamBoomeraangKickACast.BlogSpot.com .

Thanks again!




Wednesday, April 6, 2016

#7- The Dukes of Hazzard










Thanks for joining me for another addition of Dean's Black, White & Read Nights! I have challenged myself to watch every movie referenced in the Gilmore girls. Through this blog, I discuss each of the films in the order they appeared on the show. Since I'm not nearly intellectual enough to take on Rory's reading challenge, and I enjoy making fun of, well, pretty much everything and everyone, I figured this would be right up my alley. Enjoy!


Lorelai: I look like that chick from the Dukes of Hazzard!

This reference came in the first season of our favorite show, back in 2000. It was clearly refering to the classic television series and not the movie, which wasn't released until 2005. Let me begin by stating emphatically that I love the television series even more than I love Jessica Simpson. I spent countless hours as a kid, sitting cross-legged on the floor, my face plastered mere inches in front of my Grandma C's big ol' console TV, yee-hawing as Bo and Luke miraculously survived every creek ramping, and hiding every one of my thousand Daisy Duke inspired erections.

Mega-fan of the TV series as I was, of course I felt some curiosity about the film, and looked forward to the magical experience of witnessing Jessica writhing atop the iconic General Lee whilst clad in the tiniest of bikinis. So I took this opportunity to watch the movie.

Coming off the Hunchback for my last review, a corny, whacky, car chase flick that includes a half-naked Jessica Simpson, was just what I needed.

Disclaimer from the film: Crude & drug related humor.

Disclaimer from this review: See above, plus lots of profanity and way too many pictures of and references to a half-naked Jessica Simpson.

There's no way a super fan can watch this flick without comparing it the TV series; so I decided to make a classic Rory-style pro/con list. One small adjustment, though. My list is divided into Good Shit and Bad Shit. Here we go.

BAD SHIT

The narrator is not Waylon Jennings. This let-down is compounded by the fact that the chosen narrator is so over-the-top cheesy it quickly becomes really tough to listen to him. Narration is a huge part of both the series and the film, so this totally blows.

Speaking of cheese.....wow. Rory could take the cheese produced in this one film and use it to top her world's largest pizza. While the TV series was indeed corny, it wasn't meant to be. The cheese just accidentally happened in what was intended to be a more dramatic show. This was an important quality that helped make the show so damn great, and which can't be easily reproduced. The Dukes movie has pushed everything over-the-top; the accents, Uncle Jesse, Rosco, the action. Everyone is over-acting to the point of OMG shut the fuck up already.

Running shine. OK, people. Get your fucking story straight: Jesse and the boys made an agreement with a judge that they'd never run shine again, in exchange for keeping the boys out of prison. This very idea forms the foundation for the entire fucking story! Yet in the movie, they are running shine.

Uncle Jesse. Two thumbs way down. The patriarch of the Duke brood was like a grandpa to me growing up. He was stoic, serious and no-nonsense. Uncle Jesse was the voice of reason. In the film Uncle Jesse is portrayed by Willie Nelson, who couldn't have been more wrong for the part. Way too hippie. Way too corny. Sorry Willie, but BLUCK!

Rosco P Coltrane. Uncle Jesse was too silly in the movie, and Rosco was too serious. Rosco needs to be a bumbling goofball, not a stoic asshole.

Boss Hogg. Nope. No. Nuh-uh. No. No. Nope. I can't even. Burt Reynolds? Seriously, casting?? WTF?

The doors on the General Lee- the boys neon orange Dodge Charger- OPEN! They make a joke of this later when Cooter tells them the doors are stuck shut. Damn it! The General is a fucking race car! The doors are supposed to be welded shut!

Daisy's jeep is missing the trademark eagle on the hood. Why?

No commercials. This would normally be a welcome change, but the Dukes would often go to commercials with a big cliff-hanger and a clever word from Waylon. I miss that.

Bo calls Luke, "Little Buddy." Again I say, nuh-uh. Rosco always called Boss his, "Little Fat Buddy."

GOOD SHIT

DAISY!


Ramping. Lots and lots of ramping the General over various shit including a fantastic, high-flying jump over a highway embankment that was so spectacular I YHOL'd (yee-hawed out loud).

Hood sliding. A classic move from the original series, the film included some great ones, plus a few cool bloopers.

DAISY! In the shortest shorts of all time.



The Boar's Nest. This redneck watering hole doubles as Boss' place of business. It is pulled off really well in the film.

Linda Carter is Uncle Jesse's girlfriend. Fucking Wonder Woman, people.

The General Lee's make-over. From beat-up clunker to bad-ass, iconic work of art, courtesy of Crazy Cooter. 

DAISY! Joking about how she's gonna have to shake her ass to get the boys out of jail...and then shaking it.


Bo's relationship with the General.

DAISY's absolutely perfect butt. I swear it has magical powers that make me not be able to breathe while staring directly at it. No worries, it's worth dying for.


The outtakes. Pure awesome. The dude who plays the Mayor has a blooper where he forgets his line and then says he keeps forgetting it because, "Every time, I look at her titties." Jessica's facial expression when she hears this is priceless.

Besides Daisy herself, my absolute favorite moment of the flick comes from the extras. In one segment the costume designers are discussing the creation of Daisy's short shorts. They spend several hilarious minutes explaining- in a totally serious manner where-in they actually use the word "equations"- how difficult an undertaking it was. I live for this kinda shit.

Also on the extras, Jessica tries (unconvincingly) to make us believe she "had no butt", when cast for the film. Rrrriiiiight.


The piece de resistance is the "These Boots are Made for Walkin'" video after the flick. This Jessica Simpson re-imagining of the song is sultry and sexy as hell. The video is a wet dream better than all the wet dreams I've had in my entire life crammed together. During this video, Jessica performs the most amazing car wash the world has ever seen. I may have watched it seven....ty, or eighty times. I only stopped when I became too dehydrated to continue.



My rating system, as always, is based on Pippi Longstocking. Pippi, adorable oddball that she is, would never want a standard 1-10 rating system. In light of this, I have opted for a system as follows:
1 Gold Pippi Coin= Pure crap

1 Sack of Gold Pippi Coins= Pretty Good

1 Treasure Chest of Gold Pippi Coins= Fantastic

1 Cave of Pippi Coins= Holy shit, this is one of the best movies I’ve ever seen!

In the end, I gave this flick a rating of a treasure chest full of Pippi coins- my second highest. If you can go into it without allowing all your fond memories from the much more excellent TV series to ruin it for you, there is some good fun to be had.

Thanks for tuning in for another edition of Deans Black, White & Read Nights! I hope you've enjoyed this little romp through a great movie with me! Check out my previous installments and be on the lookout for my review of Schindler's List coming soon.

If you'd like to leave me feedback or ask a question, shoot me an email at LukesJamHands@gmail.com. I love to hear from you guys!

If you love the Gilmore girls, check out my Under the Floorboards podcast with my pal Elizabeth Allen. We review each episode scene-by-scene, following our tangents where they lead, while making fun of lots of people in the process. Just like life in Stars Hollow! Plus, we give you all the latest updates on the revival!

Also, if you are a fan of the Avatar: The Last Airbender animated series, give a listen to me and my son's podcast, TeamBoomeraangKickACast.BlogSpot.com .



You can also checkout my co-host's more intellectual Gilmore girls reading challenge here .

And remember..."He has a thing for you."