#3- Rosemary's Baby

 

Rory: God! You're just standing there like Ruth Gordon with a tannis root. Make a noise or something.

Dean: Rosemary's Baby.

Rory: Yeah.

 

Aaaaaaahhhhh! Love this scene where Dean and Rory first meet. Big thanks to both of them for having this conversation, thereby requiring me to watch Rosemary's Baby. This is another one that I can't believe I've never seen before. Basically every good friend I have- all three of them-loves this movie. Curiouser and curiouser.

 

Well now I've seen it and I'm fully prepared to spread the love.

 

Rosemary's Baby was originally a book written by Ira Levin. It was adapted into a film directed by Roman Polanski and starring Mia Farrow, in 1968. It opened to rave reviews and got a big sloppy kiss from the public as well. It has since became a classic of pretty much epic proportions and is the go to movie for jokes referencing the devil's spawn.

 

A little Gilmore Girls trivia to start us off: Mia Farrow was also a star of TVs Peyton Place, one of the original American soaps that was set in a small New England town. Peyton Place is referenced in the Gilmore girls Season 1 episode entitled, Kill Me Now. I call that, six degrees of Gilmore; )

What struck me most about this movie right out of the gate was how very much I want to have sex with 20 - something Mia Farrow. If I could have a time machine for just one trip through time, I would use it solely in hopes of achieving that goal. That's right, with such an amazing opportunity I wouldn't stop the JFK assassination,  or visit the dinosaurs, or even catch a drive-in viewing of Back to the Future on opening night. I would squander it on the one in a million chance I could convince that amazingly gorgeous  and- as Paramount Pictures exec Robert Evans puts it in the DVD commentary- slightly left of center, woman that she should sleep with the dorky tattooed guy from the future.

 

 

 

After fantasizing about all this for a bit, I began to appreciate all the other awesomeness this film has to offer.

 

Rosemary and Guy Woodhouse live in New York City. They are in search of new digs. For whatever reason they decide it would be a killer idea to move in to the creepiest fucking apartment imaginable. A long skinny hall that makes me feel like I'm trapped in the Star Wars trash compactor runs the length of the place. The entire apartment is dark, drab, dated and smells like old lady and herbs. There is a large wardrobe blocking a spooky - ass closet.  Wow. On top of all this, their good friend Hutch tells them about a slew of murders and unexplained deaths that have happened in the Branford building over the past several decades.

 

Unfettered, they move in and proceed to spend a ton of time and money modernizing the joint. They lighten up the paint and wall paper and it actually looks nice and only slightly creepy.

Rosemary meets a young woman named Terry in the dungeon - like basement laundry room. They hit it off and Terry tells Rosemary that the Castevetes' - an ancient couple upstairs- took her off the streets and helped her kick drugs. And oh yeah, they also gave her a stinky "good luck" charm necklace.

 

 

 

Terry seems a bit wierd to me, but no need to worry, she turns up as a bag of guts on the sidewalk in front of the building just a bit later. Mr. Castevetes  seems mildly annoyed by this development, though Mrs. Castevetes  is unconvincingly upset.

 

Soon, the nosey old bat down the hall- none other than Mrs. Minnie Castevetes- barges in on Rosemary, making herself at home and asking all kinds of questions. She invites Rosemary and Guy to dinner and Rosemary reluctantly agrees. Guy, who is a struggling  actor, btw, is frustrated at his inability to land a job, and does NOT want to go to the dinner. After he huffs and puffs like a total dick, he concedes.

 

At dinner, the old folks act like stereotypical old folks. Minnie worries over every course and Roman lists all the places he's been and repeats himself incessantly. He also makes a pointed comment about Guy needing that "big break" to get him started.

 

After the dinner pow-wow, Guy falls in bro- love with Roman and can't seem to get enough of the old codger. He heads over the next night, and basically every night after for, well, forever! Rosemary expresses her creepedoutedness over this sitch, and over the ancient couple in general, but her once doting husband has turned into a typical 1950s male and stomps around putting his foot down.

Rosemary desperately wants to have a baby. The happy couple have been trying, to no avail.

Minnie gives Rosemary the pendant that was Terry's. She tells Rosemary that the stinch is a plant called tannis root. Rosemary doesn't wear it.

 

 

 

Hubby's job prospects are looking grim, as he gets passed over for another role... until he gets the call from his agent informing him that the guy who got the role is...wait for it....going blind. Guy is clearly upset by this news and keeps repeating how much he hates to get the part that way. His chagrin is short-lived as the role begins to consume his life. He is working until all hours and distracted when he's home. He becomes progressively self-involved and short-tempered.

Rosemary addresses the issue and hubby comes around. They decide to have some alone time and try to make a baby. Their romantic night is short-lived when the old folks drop off a dessert which Rosemary finds distasteful but hubby demands she eat. After consuming about half of it (and dumping the rest behind hubby's back), Rosemary passes out.

 

This is when the flick really gets good n crazy! Rosemary has a vivid "dream" about a menataur-type dude having sex with her while a group of old folks stand around them chanting. The Castevetes' are there, as well as hubby. Hubby says, "she's awake" but the old hag tells him she can't be if she ate the mouse. Minnie refers to the mousse dessert as the mouse, fyi.

This sex scene is pretty revealing, especially for a big box office film made in the early sixties. In the interview with Mia Farrow in the film's extras, Mia says she was a little skeptical about taking the role because of the nude scene.

 

The next morning, Rosemary awakes to find scratches all over her. Guy laughs as he tells her he's already trimmed his nails. Her repulsion at this implication is obvious even to Captain Oblivious. Guy says he didn't want to miss their window of opportunity to conceive- which he has marked on the calendar- so he had sex with her unconscious body. Ick.

 

 

 

Rosemary does become pregnant from this encounter, and begins seeing a baby doc named Dr. Hill. The Castevetes' immediately demand that Rosemary see Dr. Sapirstein, who is apparently all the rage in baby-makin' circles. Guy, like a good little lap dog, agrees.

 

 

 

Dr. Saperstein's first order of business is to direct Rosemary to have a nummy-nummy tannis root shake a-day from Minnie, because those new-fangled vitamin pills are no good. Seems legit.

Rosemary has horrible abdominal cramps and craves raw meat and blood throughout the first few months of her pregnancy. Dr. Frankenstein decrees that the pains will go away, and he sticks to this shtick as the cramps persist. Rosemary quickly wastes away to a pasty, shriveled - up skeleton that a zombie would turn up its nose to.

 

 

 

In an effort to feel like herself again, Rosemary gets an even shorter haircut. Guy shows his deep affection and sympathy by making fun of the do every chance he gets.

 

Hutch is so upset by Rosemary's delapidated appearance that he begins researching tannis root and the Castevetes. After a mysterious call for Rosemary to meet him one day, he falls into a coma before she can. A couple of months later Hutch dies, bequeathing a book of witchcraft to Rosemary. The book comes with the mysterious message that the title is an anagram.

 

Using her trusty Scrabble set, Rosemary deduces that Roman is actually Steven Marcato, the son of a Satan worshipper and Branford resident psychopathic murderer. Rosemary goes all Nancy Drew and decides the Castevetes' and Dr. Jeckyl are engaged in a plot to steal her baby for some kind of demonic ritual.

 

Rosemary tries to confide in Guy but he belittles her yet again and throws away her book. She figures that Guy is helping the bad guys in exchange for a break in his acting career.

 

Naturally she freaks the fuck out and does the only thing she can think to do....goes to Dr. Hill for help. Why not her friends, you might ask yourself. Why a doctor she saw a couple of times several months ago? Well dear readers, only Roman Polanski knows the answer.

 

Dr. Hill sells Rosemary down the river. Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Guy come to collect her. At this point  Dr. Jeckyl takes off the gloves and hits Rosemary with a big dose of truth: If she doesn't chill the fuck out she's gonna get locked up in a looney bin.

 

They bring Rosemary home where she tries to escape by locking herself in the apartment. The genius plan fails and soon they are sedating her as she goes into labor. When she wakes they tell her the baby has died.

 

The creepy - ass tenants of Bamford have Rosemary on 24-hour lock-down. She is kept under constant supervision and not allowed out of bed. Upon hearing a baby crying, she sneaks out to investigate. A little more sleuthing leads her to the spooky closet, which has has a secret door into the Casevetes apartment.

 

 

 

Rosemary grabs a huge - ass knife and heads in. She finds a slew of old folks and Guy, chit-chatting around a black - veiled cradle. Everyone stares at her in silence as she makes her way to the cradle. Her eyes bulge out in terror as she sees the devil - spawn of her loins. Guy tells her they can move on and have another baby, at which point she spits in his face and I applaud.

 

 

 

Roman tells Rosemary that she can be the baby's mother and that she SHOULD be. She stares down at the child- Adrian- and her look of fear morphs into a smile as she rocks him gently in the cradle.

 

Roll credits.

 

I must say that I greatly enjoyed watching a film made in a time in cinematic history when a "happy ending" wasn't a given, and wasn't black and white. The idea that movies should always be resolved in a way that makes the audience happy is just another manifestation of the thought that everyone should get a participation medal or that we need a pre-school graduation ceremony. It's refreshing to watch a movie with an air of mystery to it.

 

I enjoyed Rosemary's Baby very much and give it my highest Pippi-rating of a cave full of Pippi coins. Highly recommend this film to anyone not too squeamish or uptight to appreciate a flick a bit off the beaten path.

 

On a side note I'd like to give a shout-out to Mia Farrow for standing her ground against her whacked-out hubby at the time of filming.  She was married to none other than Frank Sinatra. Franky wanted her to star in a film with him that had a shooting schedule which would overlap with that of Rosemary's baby. He demanded she leave Rosemary's Baby after three months of filming, but she refused. He had her served with divorce papers right in the middle of a scene. She signed them and went on with the scene as if nothing had happened. Great job, Mia!

 

 

 

I hope you enjoyed this little romp through a great movie with  me! Check out my previous reviews and be on the lookout for UP NEXT- Mommie Dearest

 

 

If you'd like to leave me feedback or ask a question, shoot me an email at LukesJamHands@gmail.com.

 

If you love the Gilmore girls, check out my Under the Floorboards podcast with my pal Elizabeth Allen. We review each episode scene-by-scene, following our tangents where they lead, while making fun of lots of people in the process. Just like life in Stars Hollow!